Hope for Truly Hopeless Women

“All the stories I know from Afghanistan seem to be sad stories,” said a a relief worker who’s lived there for almost a decade. In our recent conversation she shared how she has had to deal with co-workers being kidnapped and murdered. Not to mention the desperate situations many locals deal with. Death and fear are constant companions to those living in Kabul.

Research published this summer, stated that Afghanistan is the most dangerous country for women. Women face a one in 11 chance of  dying in child birth. Over two thirds of the women are illiterate. And most women, 70-80%, face forced marriages. On top of this there is the regular  physical, emotional and verbal abuse women endure by their husbands, mother-in-laws and other relatives. And to top this there is extreme poverty.

There is no reason for hope. A former relief worker has seen so much suffering among the women in Afghanistan, she is now struggling with serious depression herself. Another relief worker living in Afghanistan said, that even the smallest thing can give hope to an Afghan. When things are that bad, even a bit of good goes a long way.

A growing number of women living in such circumstances are suicidal. In fact self-immolation has become a national epidemic. Most often it is young women who set themselves on fire. Most survive having to live with terrible scars. To combat this problem the government has begun a campaign to teach safety in the kitchen to avoid genuine accidents. They also show the terrible injuries burnt women have to now suffer with and looks at domestic violence issues.

While Afghan women struggle to survive Western women complain about this or that minor detail in gaining equal rights with men. For some women competing with men has become an obsession. Nothing is ever enough. The life we lead in the West as women is so free compared to millions of women who live in truly unequal circumstances. They are not even equal in their right to exist as human beings with the rest of the world, compared to both women and men. Maybe we should do something about that first, before we complain about the 5%  difference in his and hers paycheck.

Fight Your Own Battles

When you receive something for free, chances are you don’t appreciate it.

You’re living in a nation that is under a dictatorship. An outsider comes, fights the dictator and liberates your nation. Suddenly you’re free, but you’ve never lived in freedom before and don’t have a clue on how it’s done.

It seems like if you’re living under oppression, and have the courage to do something about it, fight the necessary battles, then you also have the willpower to live this new liberated life. But if someone else does the hard work for you, you don’t know how do life in the new situation.

The process is crucial. The frustration that builds up until you cannot remain silent, and must act. The determination you need to get rid of the old to bring in the new. It’s like maturing. You learn some ugly facts about yourself and the world and decided to deal with it. The immature reaction being not dealing with it, and throwing a tantrum instead.

The oppressive governments of Iraq and Afghanistan were overthrown with the help of outsiders. Now Egypt and Tunisia have gotten rid of their leaders by themselves. Iraq and Afghanistan have had trouble learning to stand on their own two feet. It will be interesting to see how life turns out in Tunisia and Egypt.

Ultimately a nation needs a leader who loves his country and his people. May all these nations find such leaders.

Afghanistan: Christian Converts on Death Row

Continuing on the topic of religious freedom.

The New York Times recently wrote about an Afghan man, who has been in prison for months on apostasy charges. His life is hanging by a thread, as he is basically facing the death sentence. He is in prison waiting for his trial, but his defense lawyer isn’t interested in defending him until he returns to Islam.

Sayed Mussa became interested in the Christian faith after seeing some Christian aid workers risk their own lives helping his neighbor. He was touched by their compassion and later got the New Testament from another Afghan and decided to start following Jesus. There might not be many like Sayed in Afghanistan, but there are some. And what happens to them is of critical importance.

The constitution of Afghanistan guarantees people the right to practice their own religion.  But the Sharia law says, apostasy is punishable by death. Afghanistan as other countries depending on Western help are stuck. They definitely don’t want people changing religions, but they say they want democracy and human rights for all.

Politicians and advocates are putting pressure on the government to release Mussa. If they would just release him, the hardliners would be furious and the government shamed for obviously having double standards. And if he is given the death sentence and worse, if it is carried out, Americans and other Westerners might cut the money.

And here’s the thing. Christianity is a faith that states everyone’s equality and freedom of will. Democratic ideas and the right to change ones religion flow out of this. Islam on the other hand isn’t like this. Hence most Islamic nations have had autocratic leaders. Now that they want to embrace democracy and freedom, they have a dilemma on how to be Muslims in the midst of it.

Read the NY Times article.

A Kidnapped Man Sees Jesus

W. is an ordinary Afghan wanting to work an honest job to earn an income to support his family. Two years ago he was at work and he got kidnapped, as too often happens in Afghanistan.

For several weeks he was held in a hole, chained up and tortured. Even two years after the fact he still bears scars from that time. He felt hopeless and scared and for a good reason.  People disappear, especially Afghans, never to return. In this moment of desperation, he says Jesus appeared to him.

People say I was dreaming, but I wasn’t. I was wide awake and I saw Jesus. He was bright.

When asked how he knew it was Jesus, W. replied:

I knew it was Jesus, because I’ve seen the Jesus film.

And he spoke to me. He said, I am with you and I will encourage you. And that really encouraged me.

It is not uncommon to hear stories like these from Muslims. Maybe this doesn’t happen as much in the West, because even our faith is so rational that we’re not as open to such encounters?

Education Instead of Bombs

This is Dr. Greg’s passion. He wants to build schools especially for girls in especially difficult places, such as the furthest corner of Afghanistan. Or the last village on the way to K2, in Pakistan.

About 16 years ago Greg Mortensen failed to climb the K2 and was nursed back to life by villagers and he promised to return and build a school as a thank you. This incident has snowballed into a full-fledged school building organization called the Central Asia Institute.

I just finished reading the second book, Stones into Schools, that chronicles the journey. The first, Three Cups of Tea is a NY Times bestseller.

This is a truly remarkable and inspiring story of passion, dedication, determination and conviction. Dr. Greg (as he is called in Asia) has a bunch of Pakistani and Afghan men running his school building projects. Seems like employing only locals is the key to his success.

It is moving to read about girls and boys from the hinterlands of Afghanistan get absolutely tickled at the thought of being able to go to school. Such an everyday part of life for us and so far out of reach for many, in places such as rural Asia. The potential these kids have if they can be educated is amazing.

What I wonder about is what do they teach the kids? Dr. Greg is not out there to convert people to Christianity, actually all of his workers are Muslim and he seems adamant about not intending to proselytize. But it is the Christian values of equality between all men and women, the worth of every person, forgiveness, grace and fairness that have changed nations throughout centuries. It is nice to teach kids to read and to think, but if you don’t give them ideas, values and truth it’s kind of pointless.

 

 

 

Chopped Feet Propaganda for Black Tulip?

Last week I wrote about an Afghan actress whose legs were cut off, turns out: supposedly.

New York Times ran a correction and also reported from the Kabul-premiere of the film. The director’s claims of the actress-incident haven’t been confirmed and the head of the Afghan Film Organization says it was “just propaganda for the film”. (Cost of War sums it up nicely.)

Although the legs-chopped-off-story sounds unbelievable, worse things happen in that country, therefore it could be believable. But now the question is, is Sonia Nassery Cole  so driven by her will-not-take-no-for-an-answer-attitude, that she’s willing to say anything to get her way?  Which is not cool. It makes the all-too-real-suffering of Afghans cheap.

Our Western right-is-right-and-wrong-is-wrong -morals don’t translate to a lot of places where  the end justifies the means. Our worldviews are different. In the east it is a problem if you get caught and are shamed for it. Here you are guilty if it is wrong and you know it.

Sometimes our worldview makes us naive when we deal with places such as Afghanistan.

Price for Filming in Afghanistan: Actress Has Legs Cut Off

Passionate people are inspiring people. An Afghan-American lady has managed the nearly impossible and shot a feature film, The Black Tulip, in Afghanistan. She endured death threats, her crew quitting on her, her main actress having her legs cut off by militants and so on.

You have to have conviction, persistence, boldness and a crazy streak to go to such lengths for a film. And I love people like this. Passionate people, who’ll take no for an answer don’t grow on easy street. Sonia Nassery Cole fled Afghanistan and as a young girl wrote to Ronald Reagan and got invited for a dinner at the White House. This is exceptional of course. This woman has passionate determination because she has a cause to fight for. She knows that her countrymen and -women see what she does and chances are, they might get inspired. Without inspiration and hope no one will stand up to change a country.

I haven’t seen the movie and don’t know if it’s any good, but  just the pure determination and passion of this woman inspires me. The impossible is possible, you just need a bit of faith.

Dressed As a Boy, An Afghan Girl Has Freedom

Boys are prized and girls despised in the Afghan society. When you give birth to a girl the family weeps over your “failure” to produce a boy. In families with only daughters it is somewhat common to dress a girl as a boy, bacha posh, to gain stature in the eyes of others. Guests won’t have to feel sorry for your family anymore.

In a New York Times article several families with girl-boys are interviewed. The little “boy” has her hair cut short and wears boys clothes. He/she has the freedom to work, help out in the family store for example, run errands, escort his/her sisters in public places, study further and so on. It is common that when the bacha posh reaches puberty he/she will return to being a girl and her marriage will be arranged. When you have lived as a boy through your childhood and then suddenly are expected to be a girl, it can be a huge challenge. Many of the ladies in their 3o´s who have been bacha posh remember those days as the high light of their lives.The apparent reason being; having had more freedom as a boy.

How does this kind of a practice influence a person’s identity? If you’re a girl, grown up as a boy and then changed back to a girl, a woman – how can you have a healthy female identity? In a culture where women are truly ill-treated, being dressed up as a boy is understandable. Interestingly enough in this article it was the wife’s idea to dress up their girl as a boy.

Only men do not need to be educated on the value of women. Women themselves need to understand their value and beauty as women. Easier said than done.

Dancing Boys of Afghanistan

Khaled Hosseini’s bestselling book, The Kiterunner describes the tradition of teenage boys dancing for powerful, wealthy men. Bells are tied to their ankles and they might be dressed in ladies clothes and made to dance for men. Decades of war and uncertainty have left children homeless and vulnerable. Boys hanging out on the streets are easy targets for men looking for a bachabaze. Men have parties, do drugs (which are readily available in Afghanistan, where poppy farming is more profitable than growing food) and end up doing very bad things.

Obviously it’s not just dancing that the boys do. They are taken to hotel rooms and raped.

Read the BBC article on it or watch the Frontline program.

The very thought of all this makes me sick to my stomach. Buying and selling of people is an incredibly wide-spread and profitable trade today. How can it be that today there are approximately 23-27 million slaves in the world? That is more slaves than were traded when slave trade was an official business in Europe and America.The incredible thing is, that now that we’re all supposedly so civilized there is enough demand for this kind of stuff that it keeps on growing!

William Wilberforce, a British politician, spent his entire life and health trying to end the slave trade. Where are today’s Wilberforces who will stand up against the abuse of boys in Afghanistan or selling of girls in Thailand or child prostitution in Atlanta? How could you help one person?