Privileged

I am so privileged. Us Western, educated, working women are so privileged.

An Afghan girl was betrothed to an older guy at age 4. This means that she was promised to him and this promise cannot be broken. He came for her when she was 12. Her father said she’s still too young and that he would have to wait until she was 17-18 years old.

He said he couldn’t wait and went to get another wife. But because the engagement agreement cannot be reversed, once this girl hit 17, she was given as a second wife to this guy.

She was lucky, because at least initially she was allowed to continue in school. But once she would get pregnant schooling would be over for her.

This true story is just one of millions. Hearing this story made me realize again how privileged I am with my freedom to choose.  It  pisses me off that Western Feminist women sit in their comfy chairs philosophizing how unequal they still are compared to men. (I think women will be able find something to complain about until the world ends.)  All the while  millions of women live in seriously tragic circumstances without choice, value,  freedom, education or basic health care.

If the Feminist movement really cared about women they would do something about that, instead picketing for their right to walk around unpestered in their underwear.

The Girl’s Got Spunk

So the Coen brothers do have a soft spot, after all. True Grit, a great western about a 14-year old girl chasing her father’s killer with a Texas Ranger and an aging bounty hunter. The spunky 14-year-old girl puts all the grown men to their place. She’s capable and determined, but she’s also just a girl. Therefore she needs the old guys to get the job done.

There is a soft spot men have for women, there is that instinct to protect. Many of us women are spunky and the great ideas of the times say, I don’t need no male protection, I am just fine, thank you very much. But somewhere, deep inside, it feels good. It feels good to be protected, looked after. Sooner or later we see, we can’t manage  by ourselves, because no one can.

The Feminist movement is quite advanced in Finland. The President, the Prime Minister and the majority of the Cabinet are women. Still women complain about how this or that isn’t fair enough. I think the problem is, that nothing will ever be enough. It’s a much deeper issue of the heart, of identity.

When we as women refuse to take help, protection, chivalry from men, because we are so independent, we rob men of something integral – a place where they feel needed. And at the same time we expose ourselves to circumstances that are beyond us. Set ourselves up for failure.

So this 14-year-old went and asked for help that she knew she needed. I wish we all could be smart as she was.

 

 

 

 

Pissed Off By Feminists

Finland is perhaps the world’s most feminist country. Our president is a woman, over half or the ministers in the cabinet are women (highest in the world) and every woman works and gets government sponsored childcare. Women are more often educated than men and are very vocal in protecting and advancing their rights. Women’s rights have extended so far that a  men’s rights movement has sprung up!

Despite the position women hold in the Finnish society, many complain. Women count the pennies they are losing, because men get a “higher” salary. Women whine that there are still more male executives than female. Shockingly, still more women take maternity leave then men paternity leave! The victory march of feminists is far from over, they exclaim.

As a Finnish woman I can do what ever the heck I want to. And it pisses me off that women still complain here about not being equal, when the world is full of women who actually are ostracized and discriminated against.

A friend who works with a native group in Mexico writes about a girl who is the mother of one and in her second marriage at age 13. Another girl at age 22 looks like a 50-year old, is a mother of a small boy and her husband just left her for another woman.

Another friend works in Bangladesh, and she sees daily, how it is completely justified for a man to beat up his wife if the food is 2 minutes late or if he’s just had a bad day. Domestic violence is so pervasive in the society that even when people become Christians, they don’t understand why they should quit beating their wives. One believing man confessed to my friend after a Christian family conference, “I have been a bad man, a very bad man”. He had realized for the first time, that his wife is equal to him, in worth.

The world is full, full, of stories like these. Women truly suffer. And I can’t believe how self-absorbed, childish and petty we, as Western women can be. Let’s stop being ridicilous and do something for the women who honestly don’t believe they are worth a penny.